I want a New me

Dont think i am strong, 

Don't think i am pro in everything..

Don't think i am clever,

Don't think i can do anything so easily

Don't envy of me, cos i'm the one who envy you.

I'm telling you, 

I'm just a normal human being

I'm will get tired

I am stupid , i like to fool around

Give me more time,

I want to get off "me" who is fake

I want to change myself

Give me more time,

i will give away the thing i have, 

to replace with the thing i really one

I just need a enjoyful, peacefull life.

Just wish the day come very soon..

Need someone who can help me to get this life off

31/5/2012

December 2009: We chat at FB . We know each other. 
8 September 2010 : We met . We dates.First time dating , He late for X hours. =( bad impresion. He comes with a head of golden hair..kunun2 want give a surprise to me >>No ,it doesn't work .Doesn't surprise me at all ..lol...make me mad at him only. But i just mad for awhile. I dont understand why, first time met ,i felt like we are already know each other long time ago . Yes, i do shy when met him, but shy gone just in a minute.

Almost 2 year we stay together. That not easy ,since we are far away from each other. I'm from papar, and you from telipok.  One at south ,one at north. Our meeting point always at kk cp. One thing make me " geram" so much was, he always late for the date. Logically ,guy should be reach early than girl,moreover my living place more far than his living place lo... After i complain to him,he did change for me .He did try come earlier than me. He touch my heart ,when i found that he is waiting me near the traffic light . i thought he was waiting me inside the building .

He tell me he don't have car and money. Yet,i tell him i dont care (i think)..haaha... but if he  working  hard and or gimme keep his money sure he can get the car n  get rich ma .. i can wait ok?understand?  Just dont let me wait too long.  i tell him wish he got a car,so we can date  and go everywhere we want . But i not blamming him , i just can't the day come ,just can't wait the dream to come true. Don't ask me to find a rich guy who got car k, i doesn't work for me . I want he got car,not other guy got car. my stupid pig.

Yes , we do quarrel . A lot. Everytime ,i'm the one who try to find a topic to quarrel. But ,it actually is the way i try to get his attention when i felt he is ignoring me. Sometime,i quarrel just becos i want him to say something that he care me. I cry when i lose in quarrel .short Crying is the way i can use to win it back .But if i really get hurt ,it will be hard for me to stop from crying even he trying to console me or say i love you for thousand time....yes,he is so pity. but what can i do >>who ask him so bad to me ...

Everytime he let me win, cos he know i too ego . I make wrong thing ,he never complain or scold me. But he make wrong,i will scold him badly or until he cry<<<< muahahaha....i'm a bad girl..... but please dont kasih manja me always until i dont know where i did wrong, its only make me learn nothing from mistake k. He does try to tell what my mistake ,but i doesnt wnt to admit it or listen to him >> i very hard head kan? what to do...i'm his gf. ketara ego bha ni ...XD 

I do ever say broke up..but please dont listen to me..normally what girl say is not same as what the heart feel k..


This is what we done during the date of 520 ..watching Dark shadow beside watching another hot movie made by couple beside us. and karaoke-ing ...get another teddy bear from him ... <3

 the way i make him to be my sister.....sexy baby

we did try to open our eyes big ,but when we smile,it turn to be come like this, so ,whose eyes the smaller ? me? XD..his sexy lips...

love in the air ...

you totally belong to be with me

just look at him...enjoy huh?

we are like japanese couple ...hehe..golden hair

This is our story..the end...to be continued soon... <3

anything

i want admit that really like post thing to fb before

whether it right or not,i post only,

i dint care other people feeling,

i just care how many people would comment on my post..

because of the stupid fb,

i hurted my friend feeling..

i start to control myself when i want post something..

think before you post is the right thing!!!

repent....

amen...

17.3.2011

IGnore by people...

laugh by people...

people think i'm stupid..

people think i dont have feeling...

i try to make a change now...

want make them treat me more different...

i want fast2 finish my study here...

back to where i am...

复杂的世界

慢慢的长大。。

慢慢的了解了

‘自己’。。

我发现

原来。。

我有一颗ego的心。。

什么东西，只有自己说的对。。

什么事，只有我做的对。。

我好胜。。

我不爱听别人给我的批评。。

也不爱跟别人的话去做事。。

这是他告诉我的。。

不止这样。。

我还是一个不爱接受人家帮助的人。。

我很固执。。

头硬的比石头还要硬。。

怎么说呢？？

就说二月的故事好了。。

我被选为ajk peralatan pertandingan b.jaring。。

负责把白板还有球球带到球场。。

我明知道这个工作不是一个人的工作，

但我还是想一个人的去做。。

不愿向别人要求帮忙。。

就一人把东西扛来扛去。。

结果。。

把自己弄倒累去，

还在球场跌倒。。伤了脚

给人家看到我跌倒还没关系。。

我还在别人面前哭（心里面觉得自己很可怜）

我说‘你哭什么哭啊？！小小的伤， 流一点点的血，

有必要哭吗？？！！

那么大只的人跌倒，大番薯一个，还在那里哭什么啊？？

要给人家知道你其实很软弱，很可怜吗，你以为你哭就会有人来看你吗？？

照一下镜子先吧！！”

“真可笑！”

我这种人值得可怜？？

鬼看了都想吐。。

你们觉得

我在糟蹋自己是吧？？

我知道我不该糟蹋自己。。

不过事实就是这样。。

我自己不说来，以后也会有人说出来的。。

就算没说出来，他们心里早已经在暗笑了。。

这些人做的，比我的“毒嘴”说的，还要伤。。

我还没说完！！

有些人就是爱把人家的事说到很夸张，还要在别人面前大声的说才满足。。

完全不尊重别人。。

不把人家当作是人来看待。。

不要以为人家是傻的。。他其实也是有感情的东西。。

会伤心，会哭的东西。。

你们说的话，不要以为他没听，其实他已经听下去刺进骨里，

把自己的表情掩饰着。。装作没听到的样子。。

人啊。。

请不要为了找话题，

去把别人当作玩笑来开。。

要知道你们这样做是很伤人的！！！

whaterver

i'm still fat..

i'm still ugly...

i'm still dont have self-confidence..

and i still dont know what is love..

ok..nevermind..

be alone not bad for me...

i already biasa with that....

heal from broken heart...

i become more stronger,

more immune....

thanx for the past

1.1.2011

-thank sharon-

now i keep it ON...

I say want give up yesterday...

but that decision really make me feel bad

then,i regret,and i choose to continue it...

wish he will accept the real me,my look,my bodyshape...

++++

just now..

i got tell him that i scare i make him dissapointed with my look,or body..

i ask him to give me time,i will change myself,

i will make myself look better..

know what he reply me??

He say...

he is nt really care about that,

and dnt even care bout my weight..

he say he will beside supporting me by that..

he tell me that i'm not alone to make it...

thanks...

i just wanna tell you...

i dont have confidence inside me

i dont have confidence on my look and everythng..

this is my weakness...

and i gonna make a bid change on it...

thank you...

you have bring me back...

you have stopped me from going to learn bad..

i gonna back to the starting point...

the point that i used to be...

i just pray that...

he will be the right one...

and he is the best for me...

hope everythng go smooth like i wish...

please let it to be what i want...

i back to you jesus...=]